In Defense of Second Base


First base is kissing – how deeply may be open to debate, but the fact remains – it is universally agreed that first base has been reached once two sets of lips meet.

Third base? Well in my mind, that involves two people naked, but neither have either penetrated nor been penetrated. Some may allow for oral sex at this base, and some may not. Personally I would allow it, as I believe that a sound argument can be made for a the sanctity of a person’s virginity if they have only experienced oral sex. (I could write an entire post on this topic, but it’s not my immediate point for today…)

Home base? Well, be it with a tongue or fingers or cock thrusting into pussy – I think we can agree that this is the final destination. Once this has been reached, one’s innocence has become a memory.

But what about second base? A base that receives far too little attention in my humble opinion. So many glorious sensations to be experienced there.

To me, second base is all about the most delicate, sensitive and under appreciated sex organ on the body: the skin.

A few short centuries ago, the only opportunity for men and women to touch while unmarried was while dancing. Perhaps that’s why they did it so often and so artfully. They knew something that we’ve forgotten – that touch was something sensual and forbidden. To touch each other was an illicit temptation.

We seem to forget that fact so quickly now in our haste to paw at each other. But with each new beginning we are reminded. Before we ever find ourselves straddling and thrusting, it all begins with the intoxicating simplicity of skin touching skin.

Remember how beautifully erotic it can be to simply lie together – unclothed- feeling each other. Intercourse itself can last mere moments, but exploratory caresses can be prolonged to infinity.

To simply lie together requires one to exercise restraint – yet opens you up to eternities of possibilities, imaginings and memories of adolescent wet dreams.

To be a woman – allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable- to gift your trust to another – a moment of unacknowledged care and devotion that you’ve allowed this other being to possess…
For that moment in time, you have permitted them to explore and handle you. It is a thing of beauty to be cherished. This moment. This allowance.

And what will they give in return? For one does not relinquish such a treasure without expecting something in response.

In return- the woman seeks release. Release from the mundane trivialities of the surrounding world. In return she expects to be worshiped and venerated. To have an private world woven for her of intimate caresses, soft licks and kisses, and beguiling whispers.

The skin is a generous organ- allowing for any number of sensations- ranging from a gentle breeze to a cascading wave of drowning passion.

To feel his fingers tracing along your clavicle – perhaps as his tongue licks your earlobe. How primed are you already? Would this be a delight? Creating shivers and goosebumps? Or might this result too quickly in a soft moan and nails digging into flesh?

To simply look on each other naked is tantamount to surging arousal, as nude bodies are unquestionably sublime works of art. For millenia artists have deicated countless hours and canvasses to the glorification of the human form.

Do we not deserve more than perfunctory groping and thrusting at each other? The gift of pleasuring one another is something that should occasionally be savoured and appreciated like a fine wine.

When we lie alone at night we are reminded of this fact each time we touch ourselves. We do not fumble and grab at our bodies. We sensuously caress and allow ourselves time to build up to arousal. We understand that we are not in a constant state of sexual readiness – to get “into the mood” onerequires a delicate seduction – even if it is a solo activity. We understand when we are following our solitary pursuits that simply touching out skin may be sufficient – before genital stimulation ever occurs.

So I challenge you thus – when next you find yourself with your lover, why not forsake the easy release of penetration and pursue the more challenging endeavour of bringing them to orgasm simply through second base rated touch. A “skin orgasm” if you will…

The Duchess’s Journey to Self-Awareness…

Ambivalence: uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.

I feel like I have two different creatures inside of me, hence the need for two different blogs.
The other blog? So sweet and sometimes sad and for the most part untouched?
And this one? Part of this compartmentalized section of my mind. Devoted completely to sensuality and lust.

It’s like I can turn a switch off and on in my head. If a man were to proposition me, and I were in the other mindset, I would be shy and uncertain and possibly offended. I don’t know what to do with men in any way shape or form. I don’t know what they want or what their actions mean.

And if I’m in the Duchess mindset? Well, to be honest, I don’t feel like I have any more of a clue about men than the other me does, but at least that man stands a chance of getting laid.

Now the other me doesn’t have any different sexual desires. I’m not suffering for some sort of dissociative break-down here. But the way I express it? The way I demand it? Well, there’s where the difference lay.

The other me? Is disappointed that men only seem to want one thing from her. Is confused as to why sex seems so easy to come by, but a relationship is so difficult. She’s confused as to why she’s getting dozens of messages on the “intimate” section of the site, and none in the “dating” section. The Duchess? Doesn’t care. The Duchess loves the fact that she could be having sex with a different man every night. She loves the fact that men commend her on her forthrightness and “shaggability.” (the site’s word which makes me laugh each time I see it).

I’m aware that I’m new to this whole experience, and that a degree of uncertainty and defining myself is to be expected, but it’s been a bizarre ride. Simply the fact that this blog gets more hits in a little over a month than my other blog, which is approaching it’s two year birthday is amazing to me.

Sexuality. It’s something that on a very primal level we can all relate to. We’ve either all experienced it in various forms, or we sure as hell want to. I feel that I’ve been a rollercoaster of re-definition in the past month and a half. Confusing, exciting, and scary all at once…