Sex Shopping

Yesterday I was on a mission. I was (and still am) sick, and all I wanted to do was get home – slip into something WAY more comfortable than my little work dress and review one of my latest toys.

Sounded like a perfectly dreamy Friday night- relaxing and stimulating all at once.

On the way home I stopped at my local sex shop. I’d decided that with my influx of new toys, I should have a proper cleaner for them. I’ve considered asking some of the companies that I review for, to include some in the shipment- but I am nothing if not professional, and decided that it would be tacky to do so. I can spring for my own cleaner.

I walked into an empty shop and was greeted by a different woman behind the counter than I was accustomed to. As it turns out, she was the owner – an older woman who was much more business-like and less sensual than the younger woman who I had assumed was the owner until then.

She asked what she could help me with, and I asked for cleaner. “For toys?” I laughed a little as I realized that I was surrounded by a rainbow of lingerie, and the toy section was fairly tiny in comparison. “Yes, for toys.” “I don’t sell any,” she replied.

I was visibly surprised and deflated at this news. I didn’t relish the thought of having to pay shipping to order some online, and was mentally trying to figure out where the other sex shops were in town. This was the one that made me the most comfortable. I liked the vibe there, as it was extremely female-oriented and empowering and just kind of relaxed. Well, normally anyhow- at that moment I really was missing the young Miss Sensuality who was generally behind the counter.

The woman went on to explain why she didn’t sell cleaner, and why I didn’t need it. My ears perked up as I realized that what I had been doing all along was just fine, and I needn’t dip into my shoe fund for something as mundane as toy cleaner.

Apparently ladies (and gentlemen) all you need is very hot water and a good simple soap. She was very quick to point out that the soap should not be one that moisturized or softened your hands. If it had lanolin in it – that shouldn’t be used. She emphasized that the cleaner tends to not wash completely away, so it is always on the toys.

OK, duly noted. She then pointed out that she also doesn’t offer lubes/oils that have heating agents in it. For the same reason that she won’t sell the cleaners – because of the chemicals. Although I mentally snickered because it seems that I had a hippie sex shop owner (and really, it makes sense that she would be – free love and flower power) I could see her point. Do I really want to be putting chemicals all up into my pink parts? It seems a reasonable thing to avoid.

So ladies and gents it seems that this is the moral: sex toy cleaner – a frill that you can do without. But the heatable lube? I don’t know, I’ve still always been kind of tempted to try it…just once or twice wouldn’t kill me, would it?