Erotica and Porn

One of the comments that the author makes in the “Down and Dirty” book is that she uses the terms erotica and pornography interchangeably. She is quite frankly bored with the argument regarding the differences between the two.

Now the fact that she easily uses one term or another implies to me that she doesn’t believe that there is a difference between the two concepts. On that point, I quite vehemently disagree with her.

I suspect that the standard colloquial view of pornography is that it is simply some form of visual stimulation focussed on intercourse. Perhaps the more soft-core examples of this are termed “erotica” and the more hard-core versions are viewed as the real “porn.”

I know that when I browse the erotica section of the PPV menu on my TV, I can scarcely tell the difference between the titles of “erotica” vs “adult.” According to my cable provider, the difference between the two appears to be the price tag.

Can you tell me, darling readers, what the obvious difference in genres is between titles such as “Carnal Lust” and “Date with a Porn Star” vs “Brazilian Sex Island” and “Really Deep Throats.” I’m curious to know which of you would guess correctly which title belongs in which category.

Now when actually viewing the two genres, the difference is as basic as soft and hard core. “Erotica” films are less varied, more tentative and only shows a limited amount of skin. Whereas with “porn” or “adult” films, there seem to be no limitations at all. The viewer experiences full-on, raunchy skin and thrusting. It’s much more…stimulating, and impossible to fake.

I imagine the same may hold true for the written version of the same categories. More “romance” and an attempt at a storyline in erotica, vs the more carnal limited scope of porn.

However, in my mind, this is all simply theory. The differences I’ve described above are what I’ve observed from society. It’s not how I really feel on the matter. What is outlined above is a watered down version of the truth. A truth that I believe is much more stark.

To me, soft-core, hard-core, it’s all erotica as long as there is the element of willing consent. Whether that consent is masked by apparent refusals or not. If both partners are willing participants in the event – no matter how kinky or painful- that is erotica.

Pornography? Is degrading. Is damaging. Is demeaning and unhealthy. I suspect by it’s very definition, porn is at it’s core a negative concept. Think of all the legal associations with it.

And erotica? That is a beautiful form of sensual expression in all its forms.

To use the terms interchangeably I find to be both ridiculous and insulting to this beautiful community that I have become a part of.

I would genuinely like to hear your thoughts on the matter.

My First Time

So the ultra hot Kimberly of The Errant Wife created her “May I Seduce You” series and invited some of us to participate.

The first topic that was suggested was “My First Time.” Now I already posted a while back about getting my cherry popped, but there are oh-so-many “firsts” to write about, that I was thrilled to contribute more…

I actually had a hard time choosing – my first blow job? One night stand? Orgasm? Seeing a penis? Having anal sex?

Then I realized what the post had to be about. My first porn experience.

Ahh Dave. Le premier amour. So sweet. And patient. And classy.
Ahem. Or not.

Now watching an erotic film with your lover can be an immensely hot and satisfying experience. It can make you both aroused. It can give you ideas you’d never thought of before. It can give you something to aspire to. In some cases it can even make you laugh and try to show those actors how you can do better.

But that? Comes with experience and maturity. Something sadly lacking in a seventeen year old man-child.

The Duchess’s first porn movie?
In Dave’s living room. Fully clothed.
With Dave.
And Dave’s best friend Kevin.
And Dave’s other best friend Dave.
And Lisa, who is dating the other Dave.

And no, this is not going anywhere fun, or sexy, or anywhere even remotely approaching a “group” experience.

Kevin? Sat staring at the screen mesmerized. Mouth slightly ajar. Possibly not breathing.
The other Dave? Sat there holding hands with Lisa. Very well behaved and gentleman-like.
My Dave? Watching the movie and looking annoyed when Lisa and I (on opposite ends of the couch with the two Daves between us) would lean over and start chatting.

Was it hot? No.

Multiple choice – was it embarrassing for the Duchess because:
a) She was 17 and suspected that she was watching her boyfriend’s father’s porn
b) She was in a room with 3 other people watching porn the same way you would watch 16 Candles
c) Kevin was freaking her out.
d) She was a 17 year old girl who didn’t know what to do with her own sexuality yet, let alone that of those on the screen, and those in the room with her.
e) All of the above.

Yes. E.

And so ended my porn career for quite a few years until I eventually found that while it can be hilarious under the correct circumstances, sometimes it can also do what it’s intended to do.

Wait, was this supposed to be a hot, arousing post? Next time my lovelies, I promise!

Other super sexy people who also wrote about their “firsts.”

Hubman of Hubman’s Hangout
Aurore of Dangerous Liasons
Andy of Too Respectable
Bdenied of Cuckold Husband
Topaz of Gemology
Library Vixen of Library Vixen
Enchanted Mistress of Your Sweetest Taboo
Petal of Secret Life of a Yummy Mommy
Lionia of Emotional Algebra
Autumn of the First Day of Autumn
Southern Girl of From There to Here

And of course, Kimberly of The Errant Wife