Sex Shouldn’t Have So Many Logistical Considerations…

So I now need to establish some guidelines for myself.

I have stated that I am not interested in hooking up with men that are otherwise spoken for.
Now this is not out of consideration for the other woman. I’ve been cheated on. But I did not blame the girl. I blamed the person who was in the relationship – i.e. my boyfriend at the time. I can’t understand people who go all psycho on the person who isn’t with YOU. Now that being said, if the person is your sister or BFF- well that’s a different story. But I digress.

At the moment I am shying away from attached men. That may change, but for now, that’s one of my ultra-loose rules.

So I’ve had sex with Bunny Ears. He is now away for the weekend. Now I by no means think that we owe each other any degree of loyalty or exclusivity. And if I were to find that he had sex while away, I wouldn’t care at all.

But that being said, where is the line? First of all, there’s of course the safety issue. Multiple partners equates to increased risk.

Oddly, when I was still considering Adonis (common-law) (that seems to have petered off, and unless something dramatic happens, I imagine this will be the last you hear of him) he was quite insistent about exclusivity. He didn’t want either of us to be having sex with several people. Did he have the right to ask that? Maybe. Did I have to comply? My choice. I hadn’t put a great deal of thought into it since I wasn’t serious about getting together with him anyhow.

But now what? All issues of “risk” aside, I need to make some sort of decision. Am I willing to have sex with several people? (Perhaps not simultaeously) or am I committed to one partner at a time.

Since these are not “relationships” that I’m looking for, there are no cut and dry rules about “breaking up.” Perhaps Bunny Ears and I never have sex again. Perhaps it was one time only (not likely, since he really wanted to get together before he went away, but circumstances prevented…)

And really, how personal is too personal? Can I ASK Bunny Ears if we’re supposed to be exclusive? Ask him to let me know if he decides that we’re not having sex anymore? Whoa. That sounds WAYYYYY too relationship-ish to me. And needy. And creepy.

So, maybe I decide that I’ll have as many partners as I want. And there’s the crux. My worry is about my own little sense of self-worth. I want this to be a FUN experiment. I want no judgement from people. Nor do I want to start feeling badly about myself. Nor do I want to keep entire segments of my life a secret from everyone.

There seems to be a bit more administrative/logistical thought involved in this than expected.

Thoughts anyone? How do YOU handle it (if you’re in a similar situation)??

The Magic of MSN

So I’ve been sending Adonis little scenarios each evening when he’s offline. Mine are pretty brief, and I never let them finish. But I am impressed with his responses so far…

Duchess says:
I think tonight I want you sitting in a chair.
Duchess says:
I want to kneel down in front of you and suck on your cock until you’re so hot and hard and on the verge of cumming. And just as that’s about to happen, I think I’ll stop…
Duchess says:
I want you to finger my clit as I pull your hair and fuck you without pause. I want to feel your nails digging into my back and scream my name as you cum for what feels like forever….
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:55 PM:
holy hell, thats awesome
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:55 PM:
i totally want to do that, that would be incredible
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:56 PM:
i want you to suck my wet cock while you sit next to me so i can play with your pussy and asshole and fingers both of your holes while i feel them clamp tightly around my curious finger
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:57 PM:
your lips and mouth swallowing my fat cock, pushing into your throat, my precum spilling into your mouth as my fingers make you cum so hard
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:57 PM:
your wet pussy shooting all over my fingers and wrist as you feel your wet juices run down the back of your leg
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:58 PM:
i wanna turn you over and hold you on the bed tight as you feel my thick head force itself into your sloppy pussyhole, my balls bounching off your asscheeks as i stick one of my fingers in your mouth so you can taste yourself on my skin
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 5:59 PM:
i wanna turn your head just in time so your mouth opens up as i shoot my load into your mouth watching you swish it around until it spills down your neck, my hands gripping you tight as i fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked before
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:01 PM:
i want you to squat on all fours so you feel your underwear ride up your asshole and pussy as i sit next to you and run my fingers in your hair as your lips try to taste my cock
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:01 PM:
my fingers tugging your little tiny cotton panties aside as i force my finger into your pussy as i watch you squirm begging me to be gentle, yet you bite my neck knowing how rough i can fuck you
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:02 PM:
my hands playing with your tits as i pinch your nipples…you want to yelp like a bad girl would but i beg you to keep quiet….ripping your panties down to stuff them in your mouth so i can kiss you while we both taste your pussy in your breath
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:03 PM:
my teeth bitting into your asscheeks as i pull your pussy nice and wide to eat you from behind
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:03 PM:
taking one of your toys and watching you wet it nice and deep into your mouth so its like you are getting two cocks pleasuring you as i fuck you from behind with your dirty toy while my cock sits hard in your mouth
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:04 PM:
i slap your asscheek good and hard so your snatch grips around the pink toy as i tease your asshole with my tongue, begging you to suck my cock harder than you’ve ever sucked cock in your life
ADONIS sent 11/11/2008 6:04 PM:
you get me so rock hard and wet, i want to fuck you right now

And Next I’ll Be Writing Exit to Eden II

So there are a few things that I can’t quite sort out, and perhaps you, my darling visitors can shed some light…

Are men:
a) Just incredibly simple creatures?
b) Just humouring me in order to hopefully convince me to fuck them?
c) Genuinely deprived of women telling them what they really want?

These questions come from a few places…

All these men on this site keep telling me how impressed they are with my profile.
Yes, I have a photo up. Not risque, just a facial shot. And yes, I answered the multiple choice questions. I like toys and costumes. I like oral sex and tattoos.

But it’s the part that I wrote myself that seems to really get them. And I find it to be so simple and almost dull:

What do I want?
Someone who’ll greet me by pinning me to the wall and putting their hand up my skirt.
Someone who’ll put their tongue in my mouth and everywhere else.
Someone who’s able to handle it if I dig my nails in their back in the throes of whatever…
Someone who’ll ride me hard and long.
Someone who’s up for more than one session a night. Cause once you get me going, once just isn’t sufficient.
Someone who likes my curves and will worship me like a goddess.
Any questions?

Honestly, I wrote that in 30 seconds as a result of constantly being asked “so what do you like?”
This is by no means the Story of O…yet they keep gushing about it…

So then yesterday evening, I was talking to Adonis. I felt that I left on a less than coquettish note, so later on I sent him an MSN message.

I told him how when we finally met, I wanted him to greet me with his tongue and his fingers between my legs…
I wanted an orgasm before we ever even said a word to each other.
Then I wanted to suck his cock.
Then I wanted him to pin me down and fuck me as hard and fast as he could. No control, no romance, no sweetness. All I wanted was his cock slamming into me.
And there I left it…

I woke up this morning to his response…a plethora of exclamations about how hot that was. And when I spoke with him earlier tonight, he went on about how hot and wet he still was. And how he wanted to suck my pussy. And how he was dripping just thinking about it…

Now am I being difficult here? I just don’t think this is soooo stimulating. I can acknowledge that it might be the shock of it. He wasn’t expecting to login to a message like that. But it all just seems so…simple…

So back to my original question. Is it shocking? Are men just that easy? Or are they just giving me the response they think I want?

Not that I don’t want some appreciation for my work- I guess I just come from the school of believing that you should have to work hard to get a genuine reward….

Random Vignettes…

Just a few little tidbits from the last few days…

I am speaking with Adonis far too much. I am starting to like him. My resolve is definitely wavering on this one. He wants me to meet him next weekend.
Whenever we chat on MSN he keeps changing his photo – just so I can see his general shape. but too distant for me to tell what he actually looks like. He said that I won’t get better photos until I agree to meet him and have sex.

I offered him second base next weekend in exchange for a photo. I haven’t received a photo yet, but this of course led to what the actual definition of second base is. His thoughts are a lot more liberal than mine. I’m thinking anything goes with at least underwear still on.

Tongue yes. Nipples yes. His erection and my wetness separated by the barest slip of fabric…

He seems to think that oral fits into second base. Third base is sex.
Home run is crazy dirty sex.

Any thoughts on this my darling reader or two?

Then there’s the out of town couple. They also want to meet me next weekend. They’re disappointed with my lack of naughty photos, so they want to rectify the situation for me.
They asked if I live alone, but I very carefully dodged that question. They may have just been curious to know if I was attached and cheating- but I wasn’t willing to give out that sort of info.
They also ordered me to get a web cam.

Which leads me to my next vignette. Kyle wants to know if I have a webcam. No.
That’s too bad – he wants us to “play together.” I was a bit surprised, but I suppose I should have expected that…it’s not going to be the last time I get this request…
He told me that he wanted to jerk off and have me watch. At this stage of the evening I noticed that Adonis had logged in, so I offered Kyle a rain cheque on the jerking off.

(Technological question: do we both need a camera in order for us to see each other? I.e if he has a camera, can I watch him?? Must do research.) Anyways, Kyle got all girly and bitchy- acted like I was blowing him off. (And not in a good way). Sorry Kyle- that kind of attitude is not gonna win you seduction points.

Then there’s Mr. America. He says hello and immediately asks me my chest size. I tell him I’m in the D’s. He then wants to know if I have large nipples and areolae. Nope, pretty average I would think.

We chit chat a bit. And he seems surprised that I hadn’t asked him about his cock size yet. I told him that I was more than happy to hear about it if he wanted to tell me. For the record: thick shaft, balls shaved, 8 1/2 inches.

Honestly, I think that men are more preoccupied with size than most women are. I mean really? The best sex I ever had was with a guy who was four inches. I know it’s cliché and all, but it really is all in how you use it.

His profile was kind of unclear, so I asked him where exactly he was in the world – in Vegas, or in Pennsylvania. He said that he wished he was in me. Cheesy. Between that, his size preoccupation, and the fact that it took five minutes between each comment he would type – I quickly lost interest.

I know I’m not looking for a deep meaningful connection and all, but c’mon men- I really would like a bit of repartee so I know that we’ll have something to talk about before and after. There has to be a few words exchanged here and there.

Which is my problem with Adonis. He was so fucking “horny” last night. We normally have these great chats. But last night it was interspersed with how much he wanted to put his tongue between my legs. I told him about the photography offer from out of town couple and he said that I should see him next weekend and he would take care of it. Apparently my stockings (see profile photo) really turn him on too. He says he wants to cum all over them.

Seriously, every time I’m done talking to him I either have to pull out my vibrator to release the tension, or last night it just ended in a really hot fast masturbation session. I don’t know how he does it to me with just words. I know very well that I’m not going to manage to stick to my resolve with him. Attached or not, all I want to do is fuck him.

The Greeks Really Know How to Make ‘Em

I talked to Adonis again last night.

He’s really working on convincing me to forego my earlier assertion that I wouldn’t be seduced by an attached man.

I found myself telling him about my favourite positions and what I would like him to do to me.

Apparently he’s OK with a little rough sex. Biting and hair pulling doesn’t freak him out like my last partner. Cause if my next partner whimpers like a little baby if I dig my nails in too hard? I might just have to laugh at him.

Not the best way to maintain the mood.

This is all brand new to me. Dirty talk and telling people if I shave or trim? This doesn’t normally come up in everyday conversation with me. I won’t say that I’m a prude, but I’m definitely able to just jump into erotica-mode on a whim.

But I feel myself wavering. I’ve spent hours talking to him for the past two nights, and after each chat session, I’ve had an equally intense vibrator session later on. Not many men have had the ability to do that to me.

I think I should branch out a bit. Get back onto the site, and not have private chats with my Adonis on MSN. The other men aren’t nearly as interesting, and don’t often make me laugh. But that’s probably best.

If I’m going to put myself out there for “intimate moments” with no strings attached? Well then I should probably put myself in the way of men who won’t tempt me to get…attached.

The Other Woman

Last night I spoke with a man who is Greek. I think I’ll call him Adonis.

He told me how sexy I was and how hot my profile was. I find it hard to take the flattery to heart since I hear it so much from all of them.

He confessed that he is in a relationship. He lives with a woman and they haven’t had sex in over a year. I quite enjoyed talking with him and wouldn’t mind meeting him, but I can’t bring myself to get involved, however superficially with someone who is married.

We “chatted” for quite a while. I told him about my sex toys, and why I thought that dressing up would be fun. I’ve never done it before, but it sounds enjoyable. I typically like lingerie, so I don’t see much difference between that and dressing up as a french maid.

He seemed to find my sex toy description quite riveting. He almost seemed jealous that he wasn’t able to use them like women can. He thanked the gods for the option of masturbation.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship and be constantly rejected for over a year. What must be going on in the woman’s head? Has she lost her libido altogether? Did something happen that she can’t bring herself to tell him? Is she cheating on him? Why stay with someone that you’re not attracted to? There’s nothing wrong with being friends with a man.

A part of me wants to give him a mercy fuck if anything. I mean it’s one thing to have a dry spell like I’m in, but to live with it day in and day out?

I’m sure I’ll chat with him again. We had a really good connection. He said that if I agreed, I would be the only person that he would have sex with. An empty promise. I mean he would still be cheating, so it’s hard to trust his words. But something made me feel like he was being sincere. But still, I think if I have the option, that’s a line that I should attempt to draw.

If a guy doesn’t want a relationship and just wants to have sex, that’s one thing. But to be in a relationship and have to fulfill that need elsewhere- I think that’s a much bigger issue, and I’m not sure that I want to be “that girl.”

Too bad though. He was really saying all the right things….