My First Time

So the ultra hot Kimberly of The Errant Wife created her “May I Seduce You” series and invited some of us to participate.

The first topic that was suggested was “My First Time.” Now I already posted a while back about getting my cherry popped, but there are oh-so-many “firsts” to write about, that I was thrilled to contribute more…

I actually had a hard time choosing – my first blow job? One night stand? Orgasm? Seeing a penis? Having anal sex?

Then I realized what the post had to be about. My first porn experience.

Ahh Dave. Le premier amour. So sweet. And patient. And classy.
Ahem. Or not.

Now watching an erotic film with your lover can be an immensely hot and satisfying experience. It can make you both aroused. It can give you ideas you’d never thought of before. It can give you something to aspire to. In some cases it can even make you laugh and try to show those actors how you can do better.

But that? Comes with experience and maturity. Something sadly lacking in a seventeen year old man-child.

The Duchess’s first porn movie?
In Dave’s living room. Fully clothed.
With Dave.
And Dave’s best friend Kevin.
And Dave’s other best friend Dave.
And Lisa, who is dating the other Dave.

And no, this is not going anywhere fun, or sexy, or anywhere even remotely approaching a “group” experience.

Kevin? Sat staring at the screen mesmerized. Mouth slightly ajar. Possibly not breathing.
The other Dave? Sat there holding hands with Lisa. Very well behaved and gentleman-like.
My Dave? Watching the movie and looking annoyed when Lisa and I (on opposite ends of the couch with the two Daves between us) would lean over and start chatting.

Was it hot? No.

Multiple choice – was it embarrassing for the Duchess because:
a) She was 17 and suspected that she was watching her boyfriend’s father’s porn
b) She was in a room with 3 other people watching porn the same way you would watch 16 Candles
c) Kevin was freaking her out.
d) She was a 17 year old girl who didn’t know what to do with her own sexuality yet, let alone that of those on the screen, and those in the room with her.
e) All of the above.

Yes. E.

And so ended my porn career for quite a few years until I eventually found that while it can be hilarious under the correct circumstances, sometimes it can also do what it’s intended to do.

Wait, was this supposed to be a hot, arousing post? Next time my lovelies, I promise!

Other super sexy people who also wrote about their “firsts.”

Hubman of Hubman’s Hangout
Aurore of Dangerous Liasons
Andy of Too Respectable
Bdenied of Cuckold Husband
Topaz of Gemology
Library Vixen of Library Vixen
Enchanted Mistress of Your Sweetest Taboo
Petal of Secret Life of a Yummy Mommy
Lionia of Emotional Algebra
Autumn of the First Day of Autumn
Southern Girl of From There to Here

And of course, Kimberly of The Errant Wife

8 thoughts on “My First Time

  1. Topaz says:

    You chose such a great even to post about! Wow, reading yours makes me remember the first time I had to watch porn, and it made me crack up even more while reading yours. Definitely answer E 🙂

  2. Kimberly says:

    I love this. I think it is extra funny that there were TWO Daves. LOL. Nicely done!

  3. Aurore says:

    Quite amusing! Group porn watching is wrong – unless you are all going to get naked 😉

  4. autumn says:

    yep, made me think about the first time i saw porn, but ummm…i was in my early 20’s then. :)i can clearly see how awkward that would be with so many people in the room. very.

  5. Petal says:

    I’m cracking up at this post, first time porn is something else. I think the embarrassment exceeds the turn on!

  6. southerngirl says:

    Way to go there missy…very creative post.

  7. Great choice to choose this as your “first time”. It put a smile on my face as I read it. Nicely written! =)

  8. Andy says:

    Nice job of capturing an awkward moment. That was a fun and funny read.

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