And Then There Were None…

So Link and I were all set to meet this weekend. I don’t anticipate that it would have been anything other than drinks, but it had potential.

Then he heard from his wife. She doesn’t want to sign the papers. She wants to go to counseling.

Too bad. I was looking forward to meeting him. He seemed a lot sweeter, and somehow more “with it” than any of the other men I’ve met on that site.

I’m doing an excellent job of whittling down my options to nothing.

Le sigh.

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The Benefits of Friendship

I’ve done the “friends with benefits” thing a couple of times. Once was very brief with a man I’m still close to.
Once was quite longterm with someone I don’t see anymore in any way. That one was a real learning experience. I learned that I really have to work hard to not let emotions get in the way. And I learned that he didn’t.

Though it went on for a long time, I only have a few really vivid memories of the whole thing.

We made a bet once about something, and I lost. So I was his slave for a day. I had to wear a merry widow (I was much more “willowy” back then, so the idea didn’t horrify me quite as much as it might now) and essentially do chores all day. I do remember his friends popping by for some geeky gaming thing, but if I remember correctly I was allowed to wear normal clothes at that point. I do remember that one friend was quite uncomfortable with me playing the geisha girl to them all. (Mmmm geisha…must remember that one…I wonder how cheap kimonos are…)

He was quite chatty. We could be in the midst of the most intense, vigorous sex and we be carrying on a conversation the whole time. His attitude was that sex was both interesting and ridiculous, and that people shouldn’t take it so seriously. I agree 100%. Men who only want to grunt to gaze into your eyes the whole time? That’s OK occasionally, but in the long-term? I think I would get annoyed with it. And heaven forbid that you laugh during! I had one boyfriend make me solemnly swear that I would never do so. Apparently he would lose his erection immeidately. Uhhh OK.

Anyways, sex with Vitamin D (his own nickname for himself) was quite phenomenal. I didn’t enjoy being on top until I was with him. And I love love loved it when we were both sitting up facing each other, me riding him with him holding my hands behind my back and biting my nipples. No one had ever done it like that with me before or since, and it really worked for me.

(As a note, I do so enjoy having my wrists held down/tied up etc…something about the implied helplessness of the position….and since I have tiny wrists and hands, most men haven’t had a problem doing this with only one hand, leaving their other hand free to explore me in other places…)

My only other really clear memory of this relationship was one night when there was a massive thunder storm. We were right in the throes of it, and most likely carrying on a conversation, when all of a sudden it sounded like lightening struck something right outside the window. I’ve never heard anything so loud. He was so startled that he slammed into me a lot harder than he intended. It was the most delicious pain I had ever felt….

Now of course this relationship evolved into more friendship, which culminated in the whole guilty-feeling “we probably shouldn’t be doing this” thing. Things petered off after a while. But if given the question, I might still maintain that it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had…

Random Anecdotes From My 20’s…

**1**
I dated a guy once who did all the things that I viewed as cliché, and I think he viewed as the culmination of all of his teenaged sexual and romantic fantasies.

He did the whole bed of rose petals thing.
In my mind? A waste of a flower that’s so expensive, you should be admiring it in a vase, not crushing them in a fit of passion. ( I love flowers, I think they should be cherished).

We showered together.
Which was a bit more fun than I expected, I have to admit that- but still. At the time he suggested it, I really felt like I was indulging him.

We started getting busy in the living room, and he ran off to get a condom and stepped on his glasses and broke them. He barely spared them a second glance in his race to get to get back to “the sex.”
In the grand scheme of things, what could you do? They were broken and it was late at night, so really they had to wait. But he certainly didn’t take the time to process the whole thing and come to that conclusion. He just ignored it. Meh. They weren’t my glasses.

**2**
When I was in my bar-going years I met (to use the term loosely) a guy we’ll call Taurus. He kept trying to talk to me all night and I couldn’t figure out why this strange man kept yipping at me. No one in the group had introduced him to me, who was he friends with? Oh. Just a random guy trying to pick me up. Note to the players out there, some girls are just so clueless about men, you might have to change your game a bit.

Anyhow, the next day he hooked up with a friend and he became her turf (in my mind anyhow). Apparently not in his mind. Cause he walked me back to my car and kept trying to kiss me. Which I kept dodging like a moron. Now in his defense, while I kept claiming that he was “off limits” my friend had left him at the bar with me to go off with another guy that she had already been seeing. So a commitment it wasn’t. But the fact remains, she had told me earlier not to flirt with him, so it was hands off. (Besides he was pushy, and I had no interest).

**3**
Another time I was at the bar (with that same friend) when I noticed the boy that I had been crushing on in Intro Psych class sitting at a table with someone I knew!! This was the most amazingly phenomenal thing ever. So I whispered over to my friend that I wanted him to introduce us.
“Really?” he asked, looking very surprised. “Well duh” was my witty response – not in the least able to sort out why I wouldn’t want to meet this beautiful Greek God of a boy. So I sit down at an empty seat, and my friend proceeds to introduce me to…another guy. The not a fraction as dreamy one sitting next to the Greek God.

Not-so-dreamy seemed quite pleased to be introduced to me. Until I broke his little heart by saying that I actually had wanted to meet his friend.

Then I looked over and noticed that my girlfriend had come over to see what I was doing. And suddenly she was kissing a different guy at the table. Long story short, me, her, kissing guy and some completely other guy all ended up crashing at her place.

Her and kissing guy ended up getting busy in one room, while I ended up in the rec room with Austin. And you know what? Even though I was totally at my thinnest and most adorable stage? All we did was talk. He did rub my back and his hands strayed the slightest bit, but on the whole? Nothing. Bloody hell. Why was I too shy to take the hint? Idiot girl.

And the worst part of the story? Even though we totally ended up hanging out with that group of guys for a year or so, I never did manage to ever meet or exchange words with Greek god boy. It’s actually quite ridiculous.

It was all so innocent. Kissing was still exciting (well it still is, but not quite in the same way). Sex was still a big deal. And the boys? (cause really that’s what they were) They had no clue what they were doing. Now that I think about it. I could do without that part. I do enjoy being with men who know what to do with their hands now….

Random Poll I

Curiosity question:

Have you ever been caught doing something sexual while at work?

It could be mild or extremely naughty…

Mine? I was relatively young (20) and had just discovered the joys of masturbation and touching myself. I was in the middle of a conversation with two young men, and they suddenly stopped and commented (in front of me, to my mortification) about how I had been unconsciously rubbing and circling my nipple with my finger the whole time.

You?

Vignettes V

– So Bunny Ears and I seem to have petered off. We’ve had a few texts here and there, and mentioned getting together over the holidays, but it never happened. He’s a bit too much hassle anyways, I mean I’ve had less difficulty scheduling appointments with local dignitaries than getting together with him. I’m choosing to not let it affect my ego.

– My brother mentioned to me a few of his difficulties with his girlfriend the other day. I could cheerfully have gone my whole life without knowing how conservative he is sexually, and knowing what she was trying to initiate with him. Awkward.

– I took down my profile from one site the other day. I was a bit put off by some of the messages I was getting. However I forgot that I had a profile on another site, and suddenly I seem to be getting a lot of attention over there. It’s a whole different crowd at the other site, so maybe I’ll hang there for a while.

– I haven’t met Link yet, it seems like he has joint custody of his children, so getting together with him is quite legitimately challenging. He’s quite sweet, so I’m content to be patient.

– I did get a couple of emails re: my post below- I would love to see some more!