I’ve never had a threesome. They sound complicated to me. I can’t quite sort out how one person isn’t feeling neglected. I understand if two people are taking care of one person, that makes sense. But if two people are paying attention to each other- then the third is taking care of themself?
Hmm, must watch a bit more porn, or find some willing partners.
This however is the story of the time I almost had a threesome.
My bff and I were at the house of two men. She worked next door to them. I was very casually dating one of them, but it was already petering off. This was the first night that I had met the roommate.
The night started off innocuously enough. A little wine, a few laughs. Then roommate (let’s call him Al) brought out a can of whipped cream. *insert eyeroll at cheesiness here* So Al was more than willing to lick whipped cream off of any part of us we wished to spray it on. I was amused but not really into it. I stuck out my finger and had a little dab sprayed on. He licked it off with such skill and adoration that it made me wonder if he’d ever given a blow-job. I mean Al was thorough. My bff let him lick it off her stomach.
Later on, the guy I dated off and on left the room to brood about the love of his life. Big turn-off. And here he exits the story until the next morning.
So Al, BFF and I were watching a movie. Al was in the middle of course. He would alternate between kissing each of us. I was a bit puzzled by this, but he was an OK kisser and BFF seemed Ok with it, so I went as far as I was willing at the time.
Now here the details become vague, but somehow the three of us all ended up in Al’s bed.
With Al in the middle.
And again, he alternated between kissing and groping both of us. And the whole time I’m having a conversation in my head about what’s going on. Now BFF and I didn’t have the cute making out in the bar kind of relationship. I have found some women to be hot before, and would have been interested in exploring it- but she wasn’t one of those objects. This was a situation that I quite simply didn’t know what to do with.
So in my head: “Duchess, tomorrow morning? What are you going to wish that you’d have done? Explored having a threesome for the first time? Or walked away?”
Yeah, maybe if I wasn’t with BFF I would’ve considered it. But under the circumstances? No.
So I got up and left. And no doubt it was for the best, since really I wasn’t even turned on or anything by the whole situation.
Clearly BFF was, since she carried on having sex with him.
We’ve never talked about it since. I’ve always been curious to know whether she would have gone through with it if I hadn’t left. To be honest, I don’t care. For some reason, the whole thing makes me a little angry at her. I can’t quite pinpoint the reason for the anger, but it’s definitely there.
But that? Dear readers, is the extent of my threesome knowledge. I think if I ever do try it, I would at least like to be aroused by my partners.
Any awkward threesome stories of your own to share?